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tip o' the hat

Things are better than in my last post. At least, I'm feeling more positive, haha.

Even though I get bug eyes and noises of incredulity from every older grad student to whom I describe my course load, I think I can handle it. Yes I am going to be bugger-all busy all semester, and if by the end of it I decide it wasn't worth it, I'll cut it down next semester. But my TA class is a clone of a class I had at UofM that I practically breezed through, some of my classes have overlap, and in general this is all material that I love and am, to varying degrees, familiar with. For example, I am not worried at all about my primate social behavior class. I live and breathe the basic underlying principles of the evolutionary study of social behavior, so all I'll be doing is learning new specifics, and loving every minute of it.

And at the end of the day, I only need to maintain a B average in order to keep my fellowship. If I don't get straight A's in every class it's not going to bother me one bit.

And John is coming back to me this weekend!!!! What more could a girl ask for?

And, on a side note, I think I should be nominated Most Dorky of Everyone You Know, because one of the science forum's administrators asked me to be a moderator. A few months ago they asked people to apply to be moderators, and I never even applied because I assumed I would be much too busy to waste that kind of time on a forum. I told the admin that, and said that if he/she didn't mind a spotty appearance record, I would be happy to accept. We'll see what happens.

running on empty

I am in Albuquerque. Since I flew in Sunday night, I have purchased a car, visited six possible places to live, chosen one of those places, moved in, bought a bed and a variety of other sundries, made lists of more things to buy, and generally have a full schedule for the rest of the week of things to do and people to see.

My body is still messed up from the jetlag from indonesia, and I either have a cold or the dry air and higher altitude is really slamming me hard - which it is, whether or not I have a cold, and I hope the humidifier I bought and the sleeping pills I have will help me tonight. Cuz I feel like I've been running on empty for the past three days.



Did I do everything I had hoped to do this summer? No. So I won't dwell on that.


Is over. I organized my files to the best of anal-retentive ability, and left my mice in the hands of my coworkers.


Was fantastic. It started out with moments of pure horror and a nearly doubled cost than previously expected, but in the end it was worth it. It's hard to be anxious when you're in paradise. Maybe I will find an excuse to go study Balinese macaques. Terima kasi, Nick and Michelle!


I am flying out this Sunday, and there I will stay. Within the first three days I hope to both find a place to live and procure a car. Then I will begin orientations, speaking with the professor whom I will assist, and classes. The amount of things that really ought to be done before I go is rather staggering. So I will leave it at that.

I'm beginning a new stage in my life, and it roared out of the gate with a bang. As far as packing, chores, and errands go, I am not ready. But in all other ways, I am ready.

a few musical thoughts

I've recently discovered Hayley Westenra. She has such a sweet, pure sounding voice. It's a true pleasure to listen to.

I also noticed, during my pre-vaccination agitation (I'm such a huge wimp when it comes to shots), that George Winston has a remarkably calming effect on me. Which doesn't surprise me, because my parents used to put me to sleep with his music when I was a baby.

I haven't updated much lately because I feel like giving a true description of my life and my thoughts right now would just take up way too much space and energy.
Why, you may ask? It is not horrifying because there is a monster wreaking havoc amongst the crowds, it is horrifying because you are made to watch and experience in intimate detail the horror and the pain experienced by the people involved. Last night John and I watched the Host. "On par with JAWS!" a quote on the case proclaims. My ass. On par with watch-family-members-die-with-horrifying-slowness. I didn't jump once, and I'm a jumpy girl when it comes to scary movies, but I did bust out sobbing. Granted, the long island didn't help, but you get my drift.

Ugh. Never again.

Amusement is:

Watching a sparrow nervously hop towards me, then seize a cookie twice the size of its head and desperately drag it towards a safer dining location while still trying to keep on eye on me. And then watching it struggle to reach the creme filling.

one more!

Also, my favorite quote of the moment, by Konrad Lorenz in his book, On Aggression:

If it is argued that animals are not persons, I must reply by saying that personality begins where, of two individuals, each one plays in the life of the other a part that cannot easily be played by any other member of the species. In other words, personality begins where personal bonds are formed for the first time.
Ingrid wants to know what's going on, and because I love her, I will post.

1. Went to Michigan for Jon's graduation and to see some family before I go to New Mexico. The graduation ceremony was horrendously long and boring, with some particularly awful speeches (wherein the principal related commencement ceremonies to funerals, and since you should keep it short at a wake he'll keep it short, and then he proceeded to not keep it short and spent the rest of his speech talking about kindergarten). When you got the names of 500 students to read out loud, it takes a while. Also, my mom has been remodeling the house and it looks pretty good.

2. Speaking of New Mexico, there is a new development in the saga. John will probably never move to Albuquerque permanently. He's moving into a leadership and potentially management position, and to move away entirely would not be good for his career. It makes sense. It did kind of seem too good to be true when we though he could move out there with me. But, there is a very good side to this, which is that he can do a half-time deal; that is, spend half his time in DC, and half his time in Albuquerque (going back and forth every 2 or 3 weeks). And, he could start that right away. It did require me to start a whole new housing search since I now need a place with two rooms so John (and I) can use one as an office - if he's going to be working from home out there, he most certainly doesn't want to be cooped up in one bedroom the whole time. But, I've already got a line on quite a few places - and from the looks of things, I may not have to pay more than I was going to pay for a single room. Even less, in some cases. I still can't believe how cheap things are out there. Anyhow, now I've got to start looking at cars too, to figure out what I want to drive when I get down there, especially since John's car will stay in DC permanently.

3. We booked our tickets for Indonesia the other day, as indicated by my previous post. It ain't cheap. But, we were able to finagle a much lower price than we originally thought we'd have to pay by being a little sneaky. Once I get over the sticker-shock, I'm going to really look forward to the trip. It will be a lot of fun. And we won't do a big trip like that again for quite some time probably, so it's worth it, in my opinion. Oh shoot, that reminds me I need to fill out visa forms for Indonesia. And probably get another armload of shots at the health office downstairs. POOP. I hate that part. >_<

4. Work is - well, work. But I'm getting awfully, awfully tired of killing mice. There are two sitting on my desk right now, awaiting their fate. I can't WAIT for that part to be over. Other than that, the boss is keepin me busy, getting what she can out of me before I leave.

In general, I have a lot of stuff to think about and get stressed out/anxious about, and time is passing way faster than I would like. And though I'm doing my best to be calm and stay out of the anxious mindset, every now and then I just get this awful, overwhelmed feeling. The sooner I can stop that the better, because I imagine my life isn't going to go in the direction of simplicity from here on out.

time to use the only german i know

There have been few things that I ever really contemplated buying that are well and truly beyond what I can afford. One of those things is first class tickets to Indonesia and back. Holy. Schiesse.

Lots of things have been going on but I've just felt constantly too wiped out/anxious/busy to post about them.


It's 3:30 am and I should have gone to bed a long time ago!!!